About portcaveman : I read fmls when im bored and have time to waste. I play football and even though im going into a junior I might be able to play varsity with a fractured back. I also wrestle at school and my last season was all varsity. So if you want to talk to me just massage me on skype, Portcaveman or text me 425 530 8139
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Today, I was sitting the living room, when my mom commented on the smell of garlic in the air. After ten minutes of searching for the source, she gave up. I was too embarrassed to admit that I'd tried using garlic to cure my yeast infection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6728) - you deserved it (18248)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by yeastly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4627) - you deserved it (26178) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13930) - you deserved it (4988)
On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14412) - you deserved it (2560)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:32pm - work - by a4rk (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34791) - you deserved it (3699)
On 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm - love - by wife of a shithead (woman) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, my mom called to chew me out for having my sister arrested. My sister broke into my apartment, rearranged my living room, and claimed she now lived with me. She then threatened me with a butcher's knife for not appreciating what she had done. My mom wants me to pay the bail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26767) - you deserved it (1546)
On 07/03/2012 at 1:36am - misc - by needmorelocks - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47472) - you deserved it (6141)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41727) - you deserved it (6420)
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18251) - you deserved it (2808)
On 01/09/2011 at 6:11am - health - by whitey (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (75086)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (325579) - you deserved it (45142)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (110267)
On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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