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porkpork
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  • Number of visits : 973
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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porkpork's favorite FMLs

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

#15393060
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (7828)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:08am - work - by Matt - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

#15392908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28832) - you deserved it (9859)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

#15377212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34186) - you deserved it (4039)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally decided to tell my parents I was a lesbian. They spent the next few hours reading me the bible. FML

#15377082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46349) - you deserved it (20715)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:26am - love - by lezbplove - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children". FML

#15370334
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39590) - you deserved it (8929)

On 03/18/2011 at 5:40pm - misc - by Jonathan (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16444) - you deserved it (21569)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15935) - you deserved it (77898)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

#15296176
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10497) - you deserved it (53720)

On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39277) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for 'the trouble' I caused. FML

#15247228
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34040) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/09/2011 at 12:36am - work - by Cashier (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

#15243539
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29813) - you deserved it (6639)

On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

#15205906
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (7913)

On 03/05/2011 at 10:46am - work - by deliveryboy - China (Shanghai)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10692) - you deserved it (29123)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (43071)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

#14945401
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25793) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Austin - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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