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porkpork

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  • Number of visits : 1079
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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porkpork's page activity

Visits<b>egamage</b> - the 05/26/2011 at 4:35am

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porkpork's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you deserved it (11492)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32814) - you deserved it (16507)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17568) - you deserved it (36316)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (67154)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, we had a tornado warning and I told my parents I loved them, just in case. My dad just said "see you in Kansas". FML

#15733028
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (7501)

On 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm - misc - by anonymous -

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I finally confessed my feelings to my long time crush. He was the only one I've been able to muster up the courage to open up to. He replied "lmao" and hasn't texted back since. FML

#15700119
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33261) - you deserved it (6107)

On 04/08/2011 at 9:39pm - love - by notfunny - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48583) - you deserved it (8004)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

#15432254
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (4442)

On 03/22/2011 at 2:30pm - work - by Kim - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML

#15430260
699 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70409) - you deserved it (15293)

On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47634) - you deserved it (27044)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36639) - you deserved it (31267)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34713) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (8123)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version



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