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porkpork

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  • Number of visits : 1205
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Visits<b>egamage</b> - the 05/26/2011 at 4:35am

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porkpork's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96104) - you deserved it (6395)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, I called my mom and I got voicemail: "Hello, this is Joyce. I'm not here at the moment, so leave a message and I will call back as soon as possible. Except if it's Sophie. If it is, get the hell out of my life, biiitch." I'm Sophie. FML

#16277125
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (5283)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:42am - misc - by thatsasquee - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

#16271302
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (4119)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a well thought out, steamy, and sexy sext message. His reply? "Three bidders for my drums on eBay! Makiiin' Monaaaay!" FML

#16259164
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31317) - you deserved it (6222)

On 05/19/2011 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by rileycrash (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (20262)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML

#16255718
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35737) - you deserved it (7278)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (63444)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40555) - you deserved it (3583)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

#16235251
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27473) - you deserved it (9685)

On 05/18/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

#16234467
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65184) - you deserved it (4475)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

#16189059
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12818) - you deserved it (30474)

On 05/15/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by NoLife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML

#16173982
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35564) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by simonjudy (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, on my Facebook, the stripper my ex husband cheated on me with showed up in the "People You May Know" box. FML

#16169595
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41752) - you deserved it (3832)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113751) - you deserved it (15992)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

#16166578
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (4333)

On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States



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