Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

porkpork

Search for a member

porkpork

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1180
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

porkpork's page activity

Visits<b>egamage</b> - the 05/26/2011 at 4:35am

porkpork's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

porkpork's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66298) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51214) - you deserved it (4576)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML

#16374822
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (70451)

On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my sister and I were eating at Wendy's. On the way out, I thought it would be funny to kick the door open and yell, "This is Sparta!" I lost my balance and fell flat on my butt. FML

#16359968
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7844) - you deserved it (60491)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:31pm - misc - by taydean - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

#16344639
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46060) - you deserved it (3500)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

#16341966
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46422) - you deserved it (8926)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

#16339516
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51833) - you deserved it (17588)

On 05/25/2011 at 4:23am - intimacy - by katie -

Today, I found out that whenever I send my son to his room, he goes on his iPod and buys the most expensive apps he can find. So far I've been charged $600. FML

#16332593
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (48029)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:02pm - kids - by StupidApple -

Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while we were acting in a play. FML

#16323253
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39396) - you deserved it (3030)

On 05/24/2011 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36912) - you deserved it (6056)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27575) - you deserved it (3320)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73313) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73313) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

#16291587
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

#16291587
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35974) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/22/2011 at 1:35am - love - by severedface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: