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porkpork

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  • Number of visits : 1186
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Visits<b>egamage</b> - the 05/26/2011 at 4:35am

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porkpork's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11763) - you deserved it (41660)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

#17534893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (5362)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)

Today, I finally realized the reason my son's grades have been dropping so much. Every time I drop him off at his tutor's house, they play Call of Duty until I pick him up. FML

#17534893
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32138) - you deserved it (5362)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:48am - kids - by callofdutyhater - United States (California)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36908) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36908) - you deserved it (3464)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the pool. He seemed shocked that I wasn't crying. A slim girl in a bikini walked past and said, "Don't worry, fat people are used to it." FML

#17480475
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40738) - you deserved it (4724)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25951) - you deserved it (2542)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

#17392866
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (3940)

On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML

#17384017
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (2737)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:41am - love - by ashlyn - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51200) - you deserved it (9840)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (9529)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

#17165263
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60501) - you deserved it (5643)

On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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