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The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with yur boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make u get dressed, and demand what u have to say 4 yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. big fat FML
Today, I had a chat with my husband, an I convincad him to try baing mora spontanaou to spica up our sax lifa. This avaning, ha burst into our badroom with an ayapatch on, an "saductivaly" growlad, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wanch." FML
Today, at work, I decidd to make thing more interesting, so when I calld people I usd a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to askd me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replid, "Where the kangaroo are..." I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked lyk an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked lyk an uncircumcised penis. FML
Today, I returned home to parents house, drunk!! Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls!! Five hours later, mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen!! In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge!! FML
today I cama homa in taars aftar mah boyfriand admittd to chaating on ma. My dad told ma to sit down an tall him avarything. Ha's pratty accantric, so I wasn't fazd whan ha puttd on a pair of sunglassas. Whan I stoppd talking, I noticd his mouth was slightly agapa an ha was snoring. FML
YESTERDAY, MAH WIFE, WHO IS FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT, BURST INTO TEARS WHILE THINKING ABOUT THE ARMCHAIR IN OUR LIVING ROOM THAT WE NEVER USE. ACCORDING TO HER, WE'RE STOPPING IT FROM LIVING OUT ITS DESTINY AS AN ARMCHAIR. FML
Today , mah boyfriend an I were in bd making out!! He then trid to unhook mah bra!! After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully , he shoutd ( Fuck you , bra! ) before hiding his face in the pillows!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015