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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, while at work I was reading "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to me class of 5 year olds. I got near the end of the book and said "Look at the big fat caterpillar" to which one of my pupils replied "Just like you, Miss!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (4274)
On 02/16/2009 at 8:11pm - kids - by Lesley (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I went in for my 2nd day working at my internship. My bosses greeted me and told me we were going to have a meeting. The meeting was to listen to the drunk voicemails I left them on Saturday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7940) - you deserved it (57785)
On 02/16/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134523) - you deserved it (37251)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (95918)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22765) - you deserved it (2813)
On 02/11/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by iwantpizza69 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and do me.' He never responded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36471) - you deserved it (8697)
On 02/10/2009 at 3:46pm - love - by noneofthesex (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidentally sent it to my dad and got a text back saying, "You definitely take after your mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (49029)
On 02/05/2009 at 9:09am - intimacy - by ruffrider (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4852) - you deserved it (37067)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19833) - you deserved it (3882)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (6923)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19470) - you deserved it (5209)
On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11029) - you deserved it (34248)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37812) - you deserved it (6398)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (2121)
On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13272) - you deserved it (952)
On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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