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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18989) - you deserved it (37949)
On 06/16/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (2065)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by bitches. (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53990) - you deserved it (3000)
On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70640) - you deserved it (4464)
On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11280) - you deserved it (65407)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14762) - you deserved it (57547)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17482) - you deserved it (54644)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25508) - you deserved it (58792)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (39563)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57425) - you deserved it (4409)
On 05/28/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (31108)
On 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by wordmalfunction (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72535) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (17306)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)
I agree, your life sucks (56171) - you deserved it (2619)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (75140)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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