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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25126) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5796) - you deserved it (54450)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:17pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (3462)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (5130)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident. One of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "asshole" afterwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7087) - you deserved it (24597)
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (2704)
On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36267) - you deserved it (1914)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36331) - you deserved it (10768)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43429) - you deserved it (7603)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (9007)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (4621)
On 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by Branski - United States
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31521) - you deserved it (5046)
On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (5606)
On 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm - misc - by ninja_blasphemer (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8472) - you deserved it (71953)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (4819)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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