Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 01/07/2015 at 6:59am) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, roommate, wo appens to be a writer, got so pissd off at is editor tat e got drunk, wrappd is arms around waist, an only stoppd wen I agred to spoon im!! Tis is not te first time tis as append eiter!! FML
yesterday my elderly neigbor along wit our community curc's priest cummed to my ouse and demanded to ( give tem te girl ). Te girl is my 3-year-old daugter,o as natural born red irises and is poto-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML
Today , I got fired from my job at an age care facility cuz I was too nice to my residents. My boss told me "They're deaf , blind and about to jump head first into the grave. We don't pay you to be kind." real FML
Today, a coworker complimentd me on loosing wiegt, and said tat se wisd se could drop a few pounds too. I was too embarrassd to tell er tat te only reason I've lost wiegt is cuz I aven't been able to afford to eat. FML
Today, as I was getting out of mah car, an old an obese lady walked up to me an called me an ( inconsiderate heartless bitch ) for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see mah wheelchair.
Today, at karate, sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
TODAY... MY FRIENDS AND I WENT OUT 4 DRINKS. I'M THE ONLY ONEHO'S ACTUALLY 21 OR OVER... AND THEY HAVE FAKE IDS. NOT ONLY WAS I THE ONLY ONE TO BE CARDED... THE BARTENDER THOUGHT THAT MY ACTUAL ID WAS FAKE. I GOT KICKED OUTHILE MY FRIENDS KEPT DRINKING. MEGA FML
Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overhered two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents an grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. fat FML
today I proposd to mah grlfriend in public. She happily said yes, and the surrounding crowd cheerd 4 us. About 10 minutes later, after the excitement did down, she leand over and quietly said, "Actually, I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint the crowd." FML
TODAY I WAS ADMITTED TO THE HOSPITAL 4 CHRONIC CONSTIPATION!! I HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM WITH TWO OTHER GRLS WHO ARE ALSO HAVING BOWEL PROBLEMS!! WE'RE ALL ON STRONG LAXATIVES AND THERE'S APPARENTLY ONLY ONE BATHROOM IN THIS PLACE!! FML
Friday 27 March 2015