penguinazul

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Offline (the 04/19/2016 at 5:13am)

penguinazul

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 March 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2583
  • Number of comments : 425
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About penguinazul : I'm Lauren and that's all you need to know.

penguinazul's page activity

Visits<b>DeMamp</b> - the 10/05/2016 at 6:27am<b>lost7702</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:22pm<b>MrValeska</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 5:00pm<b>nanner6206</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 2:50pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 3:50pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 5:55am<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:55am<b>fmlforreal2015</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 6:11pm<b>cdirick</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 11:25pm<b>nyf137</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 5:15pm<b>poopsiepants</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 4:17am<b>Iloveandybernard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:17am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:03am<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 10:59am<b>texashater75</b> - the 10/03/2015 at 2:24am<b>raven83</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 12:41pm<b>itwasntme14</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 8:12am

penguinazul's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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penguinazul's favorite FMLs

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

by pizzacat / 09/22/2010 at 4:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

by llozano715 / 09/13/2010 at 1:41am / Kids

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

by Kelli / 08/28/2010 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

by justme / 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm / Kids

Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet. And then fling it at me. FML

by caitplaysguitar / 02/09/2010 at 9:56am / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML

by matchristityler / 02/09/2010 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Kids