About penguinazul : I'm Lauren and that's all you need to know.
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penguinazul's favorite FMLs
Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML
by pizzacat / 09/22/2010 at 4:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML
by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals
Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Kelli / 08/28/2010 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Animals
by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals
Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
by caitplaysguitar / 02/09/2010 at 9:56am / United States (Michigan) / Health
by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
by matchristityler / 02/09/2010 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Kids
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- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…