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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Friday 5 February 2016