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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Friday 27 February 2015