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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Yesterday, I introducd my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year old sister startd telling him in detail about her constipation and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
TODAY I WAS DRIVING MA AIGT YAAR-OLD SON TO SCOOLAN A GUY CUT MA OFF , PROMPTING MA TO YALL ( DOUCA BAG ) AS A RAFLAX OUT OF TA WINDOW. RAALIZING MA MISTAKA , I TURND TO MA SON AND TOLD IM TO NAVAR , AVAR TALK LIKA TAT. HIS RASPONSA WAS , ( TOO LATA , DOUCA BAG. ) FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed 4 so long thathen I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
looool Today, I wore mah brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, mah dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought mah chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where yur tits went." FML
Today, I let a guy I like look at mah phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get mah phone back. FML
Today... I Was Talking Wit My Uncle... Wen Te Subject Of My Abusive Moter-in-law Cummed Up. He Assured Me E'd Talk To Er An Straigten Tings Out. Apparently Tis Means Posting On Er Facebook Wall Treatening To "pimp-slap A Bitc" If Se Doesn't Get Er "fat Ass Out Of Family Business". FML
Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night . There r eggs, coins and Oreos glud to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house r in the garden . And I'm nakd and coverd in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon . My parents return in an hour . FML
Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me 4 another girl . My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong . I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML
Today, mom found a new way to get me to clean room. She pild everything from floor in front of wardrobe an padlockd dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in room. The worst part? She put over a hundrd decoys in there too. FML
as I was walking home from school with mah guy friends, mah dad pulld up by the sidewalk, offerd me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he startd laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school . FML
Friday 27 March 2015