Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paid2kill

Search for a member

paid2kill

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 February 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 453
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About paid2kill : 17/m/ny ... David ... my profile picture doesn't do me justice. i have better ones.

sports...tennis, volleyball, bowling

tv...house, white collar, covert affairs, nikita, bones, tosh.0, burn notice

movies...i adore adam sandler. i enjoy comedies and action movies though it seems i always end up watching dramas.

music...i'm an audiophile. i have about 15,000 songs. i will listen to almost everything except country and screamo. my favorite genre is dance. on a side note i like to dance.

aim...davidaxe123
email...paid2kill@gmail.com

paid2kill's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:07pm<b>berbby</b> - the 07/29/2011 at 2:08pm<b>Uilove1</b> - the 05/17/2011 at 6:36pm<b>chalkdust</b> - the 02/28/2011 at 7:19pm<b>ilovejunkfood</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 5:57am<b>mich23</b> - the 02/18/2011 at 9:44am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 11:08pm<b>CourtneyDanielle</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 6:35pm

paid2kill's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

paid2kill's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother said she called our internet provider, and told them to cancel it. In rage, I left for a friends house for a couple of hours. When I got home, she told me she was joking, and wanted me out of the house so she could eat all the ice-cream. FML

#16041715
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (34298)

On 05/04/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Derps (man) - Denmark (Midtjyllen)

Today, my husband told me that he's letting his mother move in with us. He told her it was alright without even consulting me first. I hate my mother-in-law so much that I'm contemplating divorce rather than living with her. FML

#16040726
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41186) - you deserved it (7522)

On 05/04/2011 at 1:41am - misc - by kayt240 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (5213)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

#16022547
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (4574)

On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21611) - you deserved it (41247)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that the cashier at the liquor store and I are already on a first-name basis. I just moved to this town a week ago. FML

#16014326
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11429) - you deserved it (31552)

On 05/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by alchy (woman) - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14841) - you deserved it (44623)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17160) - you deserved it (51492)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, I went to my first ever high school party with music, drinks, and dancing. Within a few minutes of taking my first ever shot of tequila, I was in the worst pain in my life. My parents were called and I had to be taken to the hospital. I'm alcohol intolerant. FML

#15141263
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40179) - you deserved it (12249)

On 02/27/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by Stormy (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11235) - you deserved it (32850)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

#14998091
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15692) - you deserved it (37343)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:55am - misc - by Jade -

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

#14997625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42024) - you deserved it (3497)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:14am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

#14990057
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:10pm - love - by Ugh (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

#14974628
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (6577)

On 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm - love - by Emily (woman) - France (Auvergne)

Today, on the bus, water kept dripping on my head so I stood up to move. As I got up, the bus turned round a corner and I fell over into a man's lap. When I tried to get up, I slipped down between his legs. FML

#14963197
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/13/2011 at 8:18pm - misc - by alice (woman) - United Kingdom



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: