opis34

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opis34

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  • Number of visits : 490
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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opis34's page activity

Visits<b>Steffi3</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:00am<b>SAspring</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 8:30pm<b>pptm</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:15am<b>nyriese</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 12:51pm

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

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opis34's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if I didn't stop, because she saw someone do it on 'E.R.'. Now I'm scared to have an emergency around her. FML

by meg__1798 / 12/08/2015 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

by Its_Sinon / 11/12/2015 at 3:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

by Nick Pat / 09/30/2015 at 9:13am / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

by Puzzlepiece / 06/28/2014 at 10:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to see the photos of my wedding, which he didn't bother to come to. Reply: "What the fuck, are you gay or something? Keep that homo stuff to yourself." My wife started laughing so hard she was crying. FML

by Fuck you, Dad. Fuck you. / 06/19/2014 at 5:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

by melmel / 05/05/2014 at 1:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

by chinaski7628 / 02/15/2014 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

by I don't know, son / 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

by Kannachan13 / 08/28/2013 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm / Hungary (Szeged) / Love

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML

by daddy's girl / 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous