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FML : Today, my mom told me that when I choked on a tortilla chip yesterday, she was seriously planning on cutting my neck open and sticking a straw in it if...
63
By meg__1798 - / Wednesday 9 December 2015 02:08 / United States
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I used to have a friend who pretty much thought he was a doctor because he watched Grey's Anatomy and "it's basically the same thing right?". I couldn't convince him otherwise. He even tried to tell a nurse she was doing her job wrong one time when he was admitted to the hospital.

Reply

I was talking to my chemistry teacher, and apparently one of the only medical show with legitimate medical information is Scrubs. Go figure.

Teach her basic first aid? Or maybe show her one of those videos they show in 6th grade health class? I'm sorry OP, FYL

Reply

Thanks for the suggestion! Luckily she has some basic knowledge of first aid. When I was choking she ran over to me and was asking if she should do the Heimlich but I didn't respond so she started thinking of "alternatives" if I were to pass out. -OP

Reply

Because they're assholes OR they hit it by mistake. I know I've done that numerous times on FMLs that totally didn't deserve it.

When I was younger and would accidentally choke on things my mom would just scream and run in circles while my sister would do the Heimlich maneuver on me

Reply

Sounds like my mom. When my son was learning to eat my mom would scream whenever he gagged. Once in a restaurant she jumped up with her wine glass and screamed "the baby's choking!" while I just stuck my finger in and took his mushy banana out lol

Well at least she cares but that is something I wouldn't attempt because of how dangerous that can get. Glad you're ok op!

Reply

Or else she'll pop a few Vicodin, spin a cane around, and inject the OP with a combination of AIDS and cancerous cells.

Reply

Well this may be out of place, but my older brother actually saved my mother's life a few years ago after she was having a stroke. He learnt about what he should do in that situation from watching house.. She was later hospitalised for around 4 months, and she would've died if it weren't for that.

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321.046210465968Doctrine\DBAL\Connection->executeCacheQuery( ).../ArtMetaDAO.php:94
331.046910466448array_key_exists ( ).../Connection.php:874

( ! ) Warning: Illegal string offset 'SELECT m.*, am.usageId AS `usage`, LOWER(mu.name) AS usageName FROM `art_meta` am RIGHT JOIN `image` m ON m.id = am.metaId LEFT JOIN `meta_usage` mu ON mu.id = am.usageId WHERE am.articleId = :article AND am.classId = :class ORDER BY am.position-a:3:{s:7:"article";i:107885;s:5:"class";i:2;s:6:"usages";N;}-a:3:{s:7:"article";i:1;s:5:"class";i:1;s:6:"usages";i:101;}' in /mnt/www/reboot/vendor/doctrine/dbal/lib/Doctrine/DBAL/Cache/ResultCacheStatement.php on line 112
Call Stack
#TimeMemoryFunctionLocation
10.0000354096{main}( ).../index.php:0
20.01711957600Silex\Application->run( ).../index.php:6
30.01732048032Silex\Application->handle( ).../Application.php:563
40.02522528208Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handle( ).../Application.php:586
50.02522528624Symfony\Component\HttpKernel\HttpKernel->handleRaw( ).../HttpKernel.php:64
60.03002775016call_user_func_array:{/mnt/www/reboot/vendor/symfony/http-kernel/HttpKernel.php:144} ( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
70.03002775456ArticleCMS\Controller\HomeController->articleslugAction( ).../HttpKernel.php:144
80.68429776504Twig_Environment->render( ).../HomeController.php:489
90.68459796152Twig_Template->render( ).../Environment.php:357
100.68459812744Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
110.68459814512Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
120.68459814512__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
130.68459815208Twig_Template->display( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:33
140.68459815904Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
150.68459815904__TwigTemplate_62adbafd0d82f9ee2653d05c8825bef305bca81011c72c831f3ac2aff03278aa->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
160.727210055920Twig_Template->displayBlock( ).../88272b73979a3744212f9fd60af3354062e36638d464f277b08ea7afb6a0ee00.php:328
170.727210055920__TwigTemplate_9d4e571930792e016ac3d45acbaf23ab4800e3f63ac69940544f5767a7047e86->block_content( ).../Template.php:203
180.899210332512twig_include( ).../5017b84a2ed59b7d882934e977d4a6226158c3e925c5abdd2c51de486dfe9180.php:749
190.899310336256Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
200.899310352720Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
210.899310352776Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
220.899310352776__TwigTemplate_021e2dc15e8278a207f6f74d4702c6815973c54981c6bbc543e5c2ce92c1cd10->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
230.952910386184twig_include( ).../06abaa79f3118482d6ef427411340f7e6af6c311ce86da27e605bf51057d0b7f.php:154
240.953010389912Twig_Template->render( ).../Core.php:1395
250.953010406376Twig_Template->display( ).../Template.php:375
260.953010406432Twig_Template->displayWithErrorHandling( ).../Template.php:364
270.953010406432__TwigTemplate_115885db683883be1d6a478e1a860cfc4f517482b0356ae8e073ed0639527fd8->doDisplay( ).../Template.php:396
280.953810407504Twig_Template->getAttribute( ).../572684d0d4cf6aa233e52fe4efe3c3bb1a0c4156f9e931256c1e59c5ea441b71.php:50
290.953810407544ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->getPhotoList( ).../Template.php:613
301.043310443456ArticleCMS\DAO\ArticleDAO->hydrateImages( ).../ArticleDAO.php:1102
311.045910462968ArticleCMS\DAO\ArtMetaDAO->getArticleMetas( ).../ArticleDAO.php:720
321.047410513184Doctrine\DBAL\Cache\ResultCacheStatement->closeCursor( ).../ArtMetaDAO.php:97