- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 5148
- Number of comments : 24
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
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Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
by dummy / 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 3:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
by Jack / 07/08/2011 at 11:10am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Amanda / 07/02/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by mike oxsmall / 06/16/2011 at 1:42am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML
by Seriously / 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
by patrickalamo / 06/14/2011 at 10:23am / United States (Texas) / Work
by Sarah / 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Mom / 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by crazydog / 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom / Animals
by whymyliferose / 06/03/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Oregon) / Work
by Ally / 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous