About Omgwtf99
MUFASA!
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  • I moderated this!

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  • Up and coming moderator

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  • Perfectionist

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • YDI Master

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  • Judgmental

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  • 50 favorites

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  • It's in the can!

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  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
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  • The return of the thumb

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  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    51%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    17%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    9%
  • Tweet, tweet

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  • Tell us what happened next

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  • Work is a 4-letter word

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  • The rules are the rules

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  • Socialite

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  • 100 kick-ass comments

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    2%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    2%
  • 50 quality comments

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  • One more and it's business time

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The list of badges to find
Omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

By soaked - / Monday 25 February 2013 19:16 / United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

By vat - / Monday 25 February 2013 08:33 / Hong Kong

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

By Anonymous - / Sunday 17 February 2013 05:56 / United States

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

By minibuch1505 / Friday 21 September 2012 11:31 / France - Halluin

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

By identitychangeplease / Wednesday 19 September 2012 20:41 / Sweden - Nyn?shamn