- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 5673
- Number of comments : 24
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
by EwwGross / 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by faceless_sailor8 / 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm / United States / Love
by rojin12 / 08/30/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
by SheaLili / 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
by Pinkie / 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by CarrieRedburn / 07/27/2011 at 4:09am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Courtney / 07/21/2011 at 5:54am / United States / Transportation