- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 5283
- Number of comments : 24
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
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by EwwGross / 08/31/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by faceless_sailor8 / 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm / United States / Love
by rojin12 / 08/30/2011 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by KayDayParade / 08/27/2011 at 8:38pm / United States / Money
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
by Zoe Avila / 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm / United States / Animals
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
by SheaLili / 08/07/2011 at 1:14pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
by Pinkie / 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounds a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML
by Branski / 07/28/2011 at 8:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by 99520 / 07/28/2011 at 11:25am / United States (Indiana) / Health
by anonymous / 07/28/2011 at 1:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
by CarrieRedburn / 07/27/2011 at 4:09am / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML
by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my three-year-old daughter rushed in, excited about her new baby brother or sister. She was so excited, I didn't have the heart to tell her men can't have babies, and I just have a beer gut. FML
by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 7:46pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by Courtney / 07/21/2011 at 5:54am / United States / Transportation