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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2810
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

omgwtf99's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 11:09pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:30pm<b>AqsaaaN</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 4:48pm<b>ariannaa</b> - the 11/22/2011 at 6:37pm<b>whoopie13</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 2:20am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:27pm<b>Eckristen</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 11:11am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 2:41pm

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and I got into a fight over who gets the last corner piece of the brownies. I ended up with a black eye and and a sprained wrist. He ended up with the brownie and ran away laughing. FML

#18275537
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24611) - you deserved it (6882)

On 11/17/2011 at 7:50pm - misc - by alliez108 - United States

Today, I was heading to the beach with my mom following. I went through a yellow light and got a call from her complaining that I had left her. So, I made it a point to stop at the next yellow light. She rear-ended me. FML

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (18797)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML

#18200183
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28374) - you deserved it (12063)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:27am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (9962) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62283) - you deserved it (4615)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46984) - you deserved it (5371)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad yelled for me. It was an emergency. I ran down the stairs, tripped, fell, and limped over to my dad only to find that he wanted me to see a video of someone playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the ukulele. FML

#18102267
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (2700)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by camille - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

#18060415
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11132) - you deserved it (39654)

On 10/24/2011 at 1:04am - love - by ShitHappens - United States

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (3103)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14897) - you deserved it (58050)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

#18041933
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16828) - you deserved it (45837) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51715) - you deserved it (16521)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28513) - you deserved it (3087)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (5848)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)



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