- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 4866
- Number of comments : 24
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy
by lolwtfbbq444 / 01/15/2012 at 5:24am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm / India / Kids
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML
by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:45am / United States / Geek
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML
by hannahlorraine / 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by poorchild / 11/23/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Yeoman / 11/19/2011 at 2:47am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Love
Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML
by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work