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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2594
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

#18842582
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22246) - you deserved it (4712)

On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

#18832495
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (2315)

On 01/17/2012 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Libyan Arab Jamahiriya

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (3153)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

#18807759
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML

#18766108
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36782) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - India

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (8630)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

#18374727
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (2170)

On 11/28/2011 at 10:45am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26974) - you deserved it (8370)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24724) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (2430)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to bail both my parents out of jail. They'd thought it would be fun to go streaking. FML

#18323291
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (2246)

On 11/23/2011 at 1:02am - misc - by poorchild - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (5850)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (6219)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

#18279694
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29772) - you deserved it (3709)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:22am - work - by Anothernametaken (man) - United States



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