- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 4749
- Number of comments : 24
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
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Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML
by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/25/2012 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous
by ZeroApostle4Ever / 02/23/2012 at 3:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by MahSquito / 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm / United States / Health
by Mrs. Man / 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML
by brannie / 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous