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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2848
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

omgwtf99's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 11:09pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:30pm<b>AqsaaaN</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 4:48pm<b>ariannaa</b> - the 11/22/2011 at 6:37pm<b>whoopie13</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 2:20am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:27pm<b>Eckristen</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 11:11am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 2:41pm

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (6856)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14379) - you deserved it (49911)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (9270)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

#19175931
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (20626)

On 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm - misc - by Eric - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17136) - you deserved it (29441)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, my oven decided that it was going to lock and clean itself right in the middle of cooking my steaks. FML

#19157879
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25924) - you deserved it (3687)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24896) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (29077)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a train hit me. A slow mini-train full of kindergartners who were on a tour of the museum I was visiting. FML

#19004597
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20576) - you deserved it (5680)

On 02/05/2012 at 9:14pm - health - by MahSquito (man) - United States

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we are a pair of gay men. I am a woman. FML

#18976383
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31116) - you deserved it (6948)

On 02/02/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by Mrs. Man (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML

#18945896
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14871) - you deserved it (41173)

On 01/29/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by brannie - United States

Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML

#18917504
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25112) - you deserved it (2567) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/26/2012 at 5:08pm - health - by Jen_ - France

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

#18915455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13120) - you deserved it (28262)

On 01/26/2012 at 11:45am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

#18845928
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37799) - you deserved it (6077)

On 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm - misc - by MakesMeLol (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



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