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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2583
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87111) - you deserved it (4401)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77320) - you deserved it (12976)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

#115837
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38856) - you deserved it (8966)

On 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by hey-o (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10696) - you deserved it (39111)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

#32415
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77152) - you deserved it (9993)

On 02/12/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by janedoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266316) - you deserved it (49523)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML

#8528
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27870) - you deserved it (1780)

On 02/04/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by 918boyz (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she wanted to go to the movies, she said yes and I said I'd let her pick the movie. She picked the movie, "Just Friends". FML

#4600
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (3166)

On 02/01/2009 at 9:40am - love - by JLoRd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (2643)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6789) - you deserved it (29108)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4499) - you deserved it (36274)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15483) - you deserved it (7578)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML

#301
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49430) - you deserved it (4235)

On 11/13/2008 at 11:16pm - kids - by mimo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML

#8
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266553) - you deserved it (23310)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -



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