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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2571
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

#14117134
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18051) - you deserved it (1464)

On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (5582)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59558) - you deserved it (4678)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52466) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

#14029442
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (4357)

On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -

Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML

#13889988
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21373) - you deserved it (8309)

On 11/18/2010 at 6:12pm - misc - by Amanda Ross - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML

#13884860
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26887) - you deserved it (2190)

On 11/18/2010 at 3:37am - misc - by race (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (7222)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, "What can I get you two gentlemen?" FML

#13848931
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (3976)

On 11/15/2010 at 1:48am - misc - by mynameisarmpit (man) -

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

#13841741
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49018) - you deserved it (2313)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29910) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13474) - you deserved it (25228)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54387) - you deserved it (3073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, I need to find a way to explain to my 5, 7 and 12 year old kids their uncle wants to become their aunt. FML

#13773002
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (8491)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

#13766366
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (7866)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:11pm - misc - by beforegirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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