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omgwtf99
  • Town/Country : London, England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2583
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35335) - you deserved it (6152)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

#15209845
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32467) - you deserved it (3008)

On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while sleeping, I heard an explosion. My neighbor then knocked on my door and informed me that he had just hit my car with shrapnel from a cannon. Not only do I not have a car to drive, but I also have to put this claim on my insurance due to my neighbor being on welfare. FML

Today, I was performing a show about pirates for a youth program. A child started crying because I wasn't a real pirate. A little girl took my defense: "He's a real pirate, his teeth are all yellow!" FML

#15203420
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23167) - you deserved it (9382)

On 03/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (5397)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (22606)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML

#15136903
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44829) - you deserved it (3428)

On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

#15130627
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (2981)

On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (29126)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5311) - you deserved it (51209)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML

#15112625
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (3665)

On 02/25/2011 at 8:25am - misc - by WhatsThatSmell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked for permission to marry the girl I love. Her father not only said no, he said "HELL no!" FML

#15084151
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (4195)

On 02/22/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (30459)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (3430)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -



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