Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

omgwtf99

Search for a member

omgwtf99

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2809
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

omgwtf99's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 11:09pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:30pm<b>AqsaaaN</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 4:48pm<b>ariannaa</b> - the 11/22/2011 at 6:37pm<b>whoopie13</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 2:20am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:27pm<b>Eckristen</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 11:11am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 2:41pm

omgwtf99's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of omgwtf99's badges

omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

#16237606
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39402) - you deserved it (3496)

On 05/18/2011 at 1:13pm - misc - by Charles (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML

#16173982
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (4567)

On 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by simonjudy (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31102) - you deserved it (5203)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, my parents woke me up by pouring a glass of freezing cold water over my head. Their reason? They were 'bored'. FML

#16022547
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/02/2011 at 7:00pm - misc - by missmirror (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (4751)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12750) - you deserved it (38603)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

#15912541
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30997) - you deserved it (11492)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:10pm - misc - by woahitbechels - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (3763)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (22786)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80385) - you deserved it (6027)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19089) - you deserved it (29449)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56862) - you deserved it (6177)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15478) - you deserved it (46741)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37700) - you deserved it (6409)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: