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omgwtf99

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omgwtf99

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2834
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!

omgwtf99's page activity

Visits<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 11:09pm<b>BballHottie34</b> - the 12/16/2011 at 10:30pm<b>AqsaaaN</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 4:48pm<b>ariannaa</b> - the 11/22/2011 at 6:37pm<b>whoopie13</b> - the 10/17/2011 at 10:36pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/28/2011 at 2:20am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:27pm<b>Eckristen</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 11:11am<b>fluffingclouds</b> - the 02/13/2011 at 2:41pm

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omgwtf99's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13104) - you deserved it (24602)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know..." FML

#19867200
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by friend (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML

#19853793
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7469) - you deserved it (32785)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (5282)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (22604)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (2842)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37153) - you deserved it (3995)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25513) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (23038)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

#19767813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9863) - you deserved it (26800)

On 06/10/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by sharkboy (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12702) - you deserved it (42952)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (2108)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (6021)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, when I was ordering pizza, I got a text from my mom saying "I love you". When the man thanked me I accidentally said, "I love you too." FML

#19719938
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23407) - you deserved it (4794)

On 06/02/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by lol112 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30432) - you deserved it (2307)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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