About omgwtf99 : MUFASA!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25387) - you deserved it (5909)
On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (2096)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21697) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48118) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15222) - you deserved it (2055)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (1721)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (3165)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:20am - love - by exfiancee (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17020) - you deserved it (2460)
On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I asked my husband if he knew what day it was. His answer was, "garbage day?" It's our six-year anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16045) - you deserved it (2148)
On 07/27/2012 at 10:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19590) - you deserved it (1524)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17948) - you deserved it (3072)
On 07/21/2012 at 4:00am - kids - by It was the 11 year old - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10551) - you deserved it (20840)
On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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