octopussperm125

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Offline (the 02/20/2016 at 6:35pm)

octopussperm125

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7753
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>M3DO</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 2:24am<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:58pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:19pm<b>begabtesKind</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:31pm<b>Avi8r</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 9:18am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:54pm<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:28pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:21pm<b>pengyvan</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 12:12am<b>pshaps</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 4:23am<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:25am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:40pm<b>bandgeek109</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 7:46am<b>swazii</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 4:28pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:09am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 5:12am

Fucked!<b>Seashells77</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:22pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm / Belize (Belize) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2013 at 1:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

by DocBastard, meet DocCunt / 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

by maxkeyftw / 10/17/2013 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm / United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

by Lady Douche of Asscrackington / 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

by failure / 10/10/2013 at 10:11am / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Animals

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

by keyshame / 10/10/2013 at 1:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

by she knows / 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous