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octopussperm125

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octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2441
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......

OH GOLLY, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!!!!!!!, i need more weed. Like badly. Like so badly that im writing about it. Like so bad, im writing it twice. I need it so bad, im writing it a third time.

Tommy Chong should be the king of America. Obama should adopt a fruit fly. I have no idea what the fuck im writing.

I GOT MORE BUDHA!!!!! YAYYY!!!! Time to get stoned. See ya later world. I invented the rocketship toilet and im guna fly into Uranus in the year 5879. For now, you can stay in mianus. Jk

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>crossdresseryau</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:36am<b>deathposts</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:28am<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:44pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:11am<b>partyartie</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:09pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:05pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:59am<b>DEATHSNIGHTMARE</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:27am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:53pm<b>ygdrassil</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Shadowsofthedead</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:50am

octopussperm125's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of octopussperm125's badges

octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47467) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33856) - you deserved it (12353)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63399) - you deserved it (8084)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50712) - you deserved it (6459)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51080) - you deserved it (4305)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5728)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

#20751757
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49188) - you deserved it (2803)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:16am - health - by not cool (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57761) - you deserved it (22543)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56913) - you deserved it (4071)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (111353)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I saw a woman in the neighbouring apartment taking a shower without pulling the blinds of her bathroom window. As a good Samaritan, I waved my arms to attract her attention that she forgot the blinds. She noticed me, opened the window, did a weird boob dance and middle fingered me. FML

#20611911
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (13917)

On 04/21/2013 at 10:56pm - misc - by Magicali (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55166) - you deserved it (3689)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

#20610275
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40850) - you deserved it (5769)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, while my boyfriend was in the kitchen, he got three text messages, all of which were from "Babe 2", "Babe 3", and "Babe 4". FML

#20607010
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55530) - you deserved it (6792)

On 04/20/2013 at 8:02am - love - by How strange - United States

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (8593)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand



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