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octopussperm125

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 10:18pm) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3608
  • Number of comments : 150
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>Tbear11</b> - yesterday at 11:48am<b>zachburdick99</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:48pm<b>meg0606</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:06am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:33am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 6:04pm<b>BFons</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Moklon</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:18pm<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:08am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:31pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:26pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:12am<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:01pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:34am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:05pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67118) - you deserved it (3096)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (3823)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML

#20919796
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42766) - you deserved it (3147)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52481) - you deserved it (3301)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (12294)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I got dragged to dinner with my grandparents. It was awful from the start, but things took a turn for the worse when my grandpa went to give me a kiss on the cheek as we left. I could clearly see lice crawling around in his beard, and I couldn't stop it from touching my face. FML

#20917563
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42841) - you deserved it (3468)

On 10/12/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42067) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38642) - you deserved it (3139)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (14256)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (5909)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47663) - you deserved it (2854)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse: the fact that I know she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

#20875739
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (12609)

On 09/10/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63719) - you deserved it (8110)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50924) - you deserved it (6475)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51218) - you deserved it (4315)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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