Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

octopussperm125

Search for a member

octopussperm125

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2455
  • Number of comments : 124
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......

OH GOLLY, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!!!!!!!, i need more weed. Like badly. Like so badly that im writing about it. Like so bad, im writing it twice. I need it so bad, im writing it a third time.

Tommy Chong should be the king of America. Obama should adopt a fruit fly. I have no idea what the fuck im writing.

I GOT MORE BUDHA!!!!! YAYYY!!!! Time to get stoned. See ya later world. I invented the rocketship toilet and im guna fly into Uranus in the year 5879. For now, you can stay in mianus. Jk

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>crossdresseryau</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 9:36am<b>deathposts</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:28am<b>myoukei</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:44pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:23pm<b>DARKDAY07</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 9:49pm<b>Rallred32</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>jacknapes2000</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:11am<b>partyartie</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 1:35am<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 5:09pm<b>bingo__O</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:34pm<b>shadowedpixie</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 2:05pm<b>boredgirl123</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 6:50pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 8:49am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:59am<b>DEATHSNIGHTMARE</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 12:27am<b>R3TROxLOV3</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 9:53pm<b>ygdrassil</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>Shadowsofthedead</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:50am

octopussperm125's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of octopussperm125's badges

octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58797) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34943) - you deserved it (4921)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30468) - you deserved it (38162)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51865) - you deserved it (4690)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

#21109873
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48973) - you deserved it (4819)

On 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by freakedout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40017) - you deserved it (9456)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

#21100140
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44081) - you deserved it (3868)

On 03/30/2014 at 12:50pm - love - by starfishedasshole (man) - United States

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

#21098742
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (3920)

On 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16452) - you deserved it (62377)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (6091)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

#21086197
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39439) - you deserved it (8092) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (9321)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: