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octopussperm125

Offline (the 11/13/2014 at 7:01am) | Search for a member

octopussperm125

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3571
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About octopussperm125 : Idk, i gotta think......



...so i learned i dont like to think.

Thats problably why i've also made so many dumb decisions.

But just remember that bad ideas will become great stories!

octopussperm125's page activity

Visits<b>meg0606</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 8:06am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:33am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 6:04pm<b>BFons</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Moklon</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 9:18pm<b>ajeppsen</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 6:08am<b>grunt2423</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 10:31pm<b>angelk19</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:26pm<b>GetIt23</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:08am<b>stonedfly3</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:12am<b>Mindset</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 2:01pm<b>gingerJ</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:34am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:05pm<b>ImTheAlpha</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:21pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 3:45pm

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octopussperm125's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (9328)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39744) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33167) - you deserved it (2808)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while fishing my remote out from behind the couch, I found my fiancé's stash of old toenails. FML

#21257075
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (3201)

On 09/12/2014 at 6:27pm - misc - by jjhach (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35317) - you deserved it (2930)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (5600)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (11754)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

#21251377
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (3362)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:35pm - kids - by MusicLover18 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49183) - you deserved it (21256)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59140) - you deserved it (4566)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML

#21123602
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35311) - you deserved it (4956)

On 04/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by fuckingfloridahowihatethee (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my drug addict of a roommate convinced herself my red kitten was Pennywise the clown in disguise waiting to kill her, and hit him over the head with a pan. FML

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (38554)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52096) - you deserved it (4710)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)



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