About oatmeal_boi : I usually come on here to read the intimate FML's because those are the funniest :)
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (2187)
On 08/10/2011 at 3:22am - misc - by TheKunitzShow14 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a week after my fiancé and I got engaged, his mother is already complaining that she isn't involved enough in the wedding arrangements. We haven't even set a date yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (1565)
On 08/10/2011 at 3:18am - love - by Potential Bridezilla (woman) - United Arab Emirates
Today, our AC broke. It's 98 degrees inside the house. My parents will be staying at a 5 star resort until the repairman can come to fix the unit in 6 days. They made me stay home to make sure the plants survive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (1926)
On 08/10/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24187) - you deserved it (2939)
On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)
Today, I got my eyebrows waxed. The lady who waxed my eyebrows also decided to pop the big zit on my forehead. She charged me a dollar extra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25539) - you deserved it (4954)
On 08/09/2011 at 1:35pm - misc - by pizzaface - United States
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (5123)
On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34274) - you deserved it (4574)
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (2441)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (329)
On 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm - health - by laurlaur - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (1773)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (2258)
On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36135) - you deserved it (1906)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
