About oNikkio : An artist, a skeptic, and a future law student.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I hired a professional makeup artist to apply my makeup for a wedding. After paying her $500 for the excellent job she does, and getting dressed, I grabbed the invitation to check out the address, and it said the wedding was on December 2. Today is December 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8772) - you deserved it (40977)
On 12/03/2009 at 5:29pm - money - by DidntCheckTheCalendar (woman) - Kuwait
Today, I was driving down a highway during rush-hour. I heard my phone ring and couldn't find it. I bent down to feel around for it and got in an accident and totaled my car. The ringing? A commercial on the radio. Where was my phone? On my dresser at home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7288) - you deserved it (55793)
On 12/01/2009 at 5:48pm - misc - by horribledriver (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10662) - you deserved it (21742)
On 12/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by helper (man) - Costa Rica (Heredia)
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27747) - you deserved it (1996)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11164) - you deserved it (23410)
On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28508) - you deserved it (2041)
On 11/22/2009 at 11:49am - health - by trying2breathe (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3961) - you deserved it (30446)
On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13295) - you deserved it (32266)
On 09/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by MessedXUp (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (2934)
On 07/05/2009 at 8:06pm - health - by yeasty (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46529) - you deserved it (9072)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:13pm - health - by JK710 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10012) - you deserved it (79971)
On 05/26/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by Wick (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53876) - you deserved it (4291)
On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11239) - you deserved it (48590)
On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (550085) - you deserved it (35350)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (436939) - you deserved it (61412)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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