noncom

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Offline (the 09/08/2014 at 4:26am)

noncom

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5403
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About noncom : I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.

noncom's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 6:22pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:40am<b>nana_star</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 4:52pm<b>Destrukto</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:14pm<b>ChocolateScyther</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:05pm<b>MiguelRojas</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:31pm<b>kawaii666</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 10:26pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:50pm<b>sweetbliss3</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:40pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:27am<b>ManualBeatle56</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:39pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:41am<b>FrustratedJoe</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:19am<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:57pm<b>KHAOS_KREATOR</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:07pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>aedan12</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:47am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 12:21am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:39pm

noncom's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

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The rules are the rules

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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noncom's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the doctor's office. People kept staring at me and I couldn't figure out why. Later, I realized my sister's puppies had chewed a noticeable hole in my pants' crotch. FML

by Angela / 01/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

by Brit / 12/16/2011 at 3:50am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I talked to my dad about joining the military. He got up, laughed, and said, "As if the army would accept a pussy like you." FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

by skrewedguy / 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm / United States / Health

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

by Mary / 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm / United States / Love

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

by nicoreal89 / 11/25/2011 at 3:20am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

by vistingherfamily / 11/24/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 12:20pm / Romania (Mures) / Work