About Noncom
I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.
Noncom - Followers
Noncom - Followed
Noncom's FML badges
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
  • Profile completed

    You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
  • Consolation prize

    Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
    54%
  • 42

    See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    2%
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    0%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    2%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    4%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    98%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    34%
  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
    19%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    11%
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
    3%
The list of badges to find
Noncom's favorite FMLs

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

By fired / Sunday 13 May 2012 06:26 / United States - Portland

Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML

By Damn - / Sunday 6 May 2012 13:53 / Australia

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

By Anonymous / Monday 30 April 2012 21:34 / United States

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 2 May 2012 22:41 / Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML

By sockmonkey - / Tuesday 1 May 2012 02:21 / United States - Corona