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Offline (the 09/08/2014 at 4:26am) | Search for a member
About noncom : I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, mah brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and mah nieghbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at mah parents about mah "addiction" to marijuana. When mah parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. real FML
TODAY, MAH PARENTS TOOK MAH IPAD BACK TO THE STORE AN EXCHANGD IT 4 TWO CHEAP KNOCK OFF TABLETS. REASON BEING MAH LITTLE BROTHER THREATEND TO RUN AWAY CUZ I HAD ONE AN HE DIDN'T. I BOUGHT THE IPAD ON MAH OWN AFTER GRADUATION. THEY KEPT THE DIFFERENCE IN PRICE. FML
Today , a few freshmen jumpd mah fence . They decidd to take a dip in the pool , so I pulld out a paintball gun . I unloadd over 100 rounds , painting there backs bright yellow . It also dyd mah pool yellow , and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair . FML
Today... I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life... but wining tat te "cute" clots my aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er... instead of looool bieng "wasted". FML
Today, Bacausa My Boyfriand Drivas A 2-saatad Sports Car, I Had To Awkwardly Sit On His Brothar's Lap As Wa Drova To Tha Stora . I Soon Falt A Poking Sansation Through His Pants, Just A Faw Minutas Bafora Wa Hit A Bumpy Road . Maga FML
yesterday after two weeks of bieng grounded I was finally let out of the house by mah mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me because I got so drunk I told mah ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
Today... a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account... and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me 4 supposedly being glued to it 24/7... before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs lyk this even alive? fat FML
Today, a nereby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
yesterday I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made looool a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager.
Today,ile At A Stop Ligt, I Was Rear-ended By A Car Biend Me . Te Guy Got Angry At Me, Cuz According To Im, I Sould've Known Tat Is Car As Poor Braking Distance, And So I Sould've Moved Forward A Few More Feet To Compensate . FML
Friday 27 March 2015