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noncom

Offline (the 09/08/2014 at 4:26am) | Search for a member

noncom

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2619
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About noncom : I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.

noncom's page activity

Visits<b>ManualBeatle56</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:39pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:41am<b>FrustratedJoe</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:19am<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:57pm<b>KHAOS_KREATOR</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:07pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>aedan12</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:47am<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:08pm<b>belinasegg</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:25pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:17pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:26pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:59am<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:22pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:24am<b>purplhaze88</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:15pm<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:14pm

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noncom's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor's dog bit me, it was extremely painful. The gash in my leg was deep and bleeding like crazy. When I finally got into my house screaming in agonizing pain, my mother said "Quit bitching, walk it off and you'll be fine." My leg is purple now. FML

#8230372
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26047) - you deserved it (2827)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - health - by dogbait - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my boyfriend of 8 years cheating on me. I punched him in the face, he broke up with me. And I still had to cook him an entire turkey dinner. FML

#8185131
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (35266)

On 02/12/2010 at 10:30pm - love - by Pushover (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18987) - you deserved it (2970)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML

#8005282
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (28793)

On 02/08/2010 at 5:52am - health - by preggers (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I was racing some mates to the beach and I decided to take a short-cut by jumping over a low wall. I didn't realise the wall was to stop people falling into the stormwater drain. Which is 3 metres deep. And has razor-sharp oysters growing at the bottom. FML

#7965104
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15431) - you deserved it (34109)

On 02/07/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by KiwiBlam (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

#7319771
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML

#7212033
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:23am - kids - by PeanutlyDisabled - France

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46147) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24776) - you deserved it (6144)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out where my $300 worth of American Eagle and Hollister clothes had disappeared to. My 16 year old sister shredded them with scissors, took pictures of it for her Myspace and said that I deserved it for being a "conformist." All her "internet friends" said it was awesome. FML

#6901032
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34463) - you deserved it (11234)

On 12/23/2009 at 11:05am - kids - by meep (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (5896)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

#6147430
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (4155)

On 11/04/2009 at 3:44am - misc - by ishouldhidethekeys (woman) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, a woman evidently posted on a chat website asking for any young men to send pictures of their junk to her cell phone. Over 60 messages were sent, mostly by underage boys, most of them including the picture. Only problem. The number posted wasn't hers... It was mine. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

#6137228
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (2162)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by buckid310 (man) - United States (Ohio)



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