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noncom

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noncom

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2537
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About noncom : I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.

noncom's page activity

Visits<b>ManualBeatle56</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:39pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:41am<b>FrustratedJoe</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:19am<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:57pm<b>KHAOS_KREATOR</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:07pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>aedan12</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:47am<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:08pm<b>belinasegg</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:25pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:17pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:26pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:59am<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:22pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:24am<b>purplhaze88</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:15pm<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:14pm

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noncom's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owed for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's moved 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today, I attended my first day of school 4 days after reconstructive surgery. But no worries: I'm sure my alien-like appearance and 2 hours of Darth Vader style breathing in an otherwise silent test room will make me lots of friends. FML

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

Today, I met up with my estranged father for the first time in almost 15 years. I saw him again later, while he was robbing my house. FML

Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

#20790299
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43857) - you deserved it (2670)

On 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by dirtythief (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

Today, after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to find most of the food gone, and a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43874) - you deserved it (7954)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw what I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42765) - you deserved it (4090)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML

#20736762
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48834) - you deserved it (3151)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:35am - money - by what_the_hell (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)



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