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noncom

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noncom

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2513
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About noncom : I am 14, I am a Kentuckian. I plan to have aFord Rranger 4X4 when I can drive. I like Top Gear (Both U.K. And U.S.) I love food that has Bourbon in it. I find keyrings, gas masks, watches, and belts interesting. I usually use the FML app, but sometimes I use the computer, so feel free to message me. And I am a republican.

noncom's page activity

Visits<b>ManualBeatle56</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:39pm<b>slayer447</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:41am<b>FrustratedJoe</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:19am<b>meb123hazel</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 6:57pm<b>KHAOS_KREATOR</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 6:07pm<b>MyUsernameIsBest</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>aedan12</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 2:47am<b>MichelleRuzicka</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 1:08pm<b>belinasegg</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:25pm<b>NatashaLovesYou</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 11:17pm<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 11:39pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 8:26pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 7:59am<b>aliyourpally</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 9:22pm<b>allforyoux3</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:22pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 8:24am<b>purplhaze88</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:15pm<b>hazardoussmiles9</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 6:14pm

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noncom's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43460) - you deserved it (4092)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, yet again, I got to my desk at work at 8 AM to find my laptop turned on and porn sites opened. Weird porn sites. I have no idea who is doing this, or how they have access to my office, or how they got my login password. HR thinks I'm making this up. FML

#20894123
165 comments

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

#20893921
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (3015)

On 09/24/2013 at 12:47am - kids - by cuntsmom (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38185) - you deserved it (2925)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (85963)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

#20869383
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57429) - you deserved it (4113)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by whatjusthappened - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47060) - you deserved it (4721)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

#20869277
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37197) - you deserved it (3174)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by WritesTooWell - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

#20868968
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (5056)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after my grandma did some early Halloween costume shopping, I witnessed her modeling a "sexy nurse" outfit. After seeing her bare thighs and most of her ass, I don't think I can eat cottage cheese ever again. FML

#20868804
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (4387)

On 09/05/2013 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by fuck my liBLARGHSLJNAdlajdSzxz (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my parents told me that I had been accepted into my top two colleges, but they didn't show me the letters because they were worried that if they spent money on tuition, they wouldn't be able to keep BOTH of their brand new Mercedes. FML

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41619) - you deserved it (3660)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML



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