About nokkibind : I love animals.
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nokkibind's favorite FMLs
by pass me the fucking rope / 06/18/2016 at 9:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, five minutes into a first date with a woman I really wanted to impress, we got on to a very busy train. I was so concerned with making sure that my backpack didn't get caught in the closing doors that I forgot to worry about my head. FML
by dannidoll93 / 06/15/2016 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Transportation
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by r1has / 06/11/2016 at 10:58pm / Pakistan (Islamabad) / Health
by can't wait to go home / 06/10/2016 at 3:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by spadesmollusques / 06/06/2016 at 1:13am / France (Alsace) / Kids
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by mitchellcrawford / 05/31/2016 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/31/2016 at 12:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I realized my recent weight loss probably wasn't caused by working out and eating more healthily. It was from the tapeworm I discovered hanging out my ass after I took a crap. I had to pull it out with my bare hands. FML
by scarred for life / 05/28/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML
by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals
by ijustwannaplaymymusic / 05/27/2016 at 12:40am / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I finally tested out my new robot vacuum cleaner. My puppy decided she would test it out too by leaving a brown surprise for it to find, which it did. There are now brown marks in every room of the house. FML
by justpeachy1989 / 05/26/2016 at 10:06am / Australia / Animals
- Today, after coming home from working two jobs, I find that my unemployed sister-in-law has trashed… Today, while driving to work, I was wondering why the highway was so empty. Turned out, today is a… Today, I walked into a restaurant and caught my Dad having lunch with his other daughter. Not only…