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nokkibind

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nokkibind

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5095
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nokkibind : I love animals.

nokkibind's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:07am<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:41am<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:49pm<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 7:02am<b>shutupyou</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:43pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:14pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:07pm

nokkibind's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of nokkibind's badges

nokkibind's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

#21458762
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21794) - you deserved it (7935)

On 08/21/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a woman at the retirement home I work at told me she was new and asked me a few questions. I asked her when she moved in. She was a new coworker, not a new resident. FML

#21457683
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (11875)

On 08/18/2015 at 5:08pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML

#21457543
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (3133)

On 08/18/2015 at 9:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

#21457219
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:56pm - misc - by hbt51 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at a quiet restaurant, my stepdad loudly told me he hopes in the future they have "hover caskets" so he doesn't have to carry my "fat ass" to the grave. All because I didn't want a side salad. FML

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

#21456316
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23232) - you deserved it (1593)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

#21453118
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (4961)

On 08/07/2015 at 11:16am - work - by not telling you my name (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20749) - you deserved it (9788)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

#21448484
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (3358)

On 07/28/2015 at 8:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30752) - you deserved it (4254)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was swimming my routine laps at the gym's pool and a man came in and swam in the adjacent lane. While swimming freestyle, I smelled a really nasty fart. Not a minute later, he hurriedly left. I didn't realize what he had done until I saw "floating particles" in the water. FML

#21431076
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28637) - you deserved it (1756)

On 06/24/2015 at 8:44am - health - by tantanpanda (man) - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

#21426197
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2178)

On 06/14/2015 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

#21419303
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28480) - you deserved it (7125)

On 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm - kids - by pheonixxe (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I had to pick my brother up from work because he broke down crying. I arrived to find that apparently, you can get so stoned that serving a pregnant woman at a fast food joint moves you to tears over the miracle of life. FML

#21409953
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31065) - you deserved it (2439)

On 05/14/2015 at 10:23am - misc - by sistertaxi - Australia



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