About nokkibind : I love animals.
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nokkibind's favorite FMLs
by Mj / 07/19/2016 at 8:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML
by Jesstanothergurl / 07/18/2016 at 3:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Need To Bathe In Deodorant / 07/17/2016 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML
by CallmeTokey / 07/11/2016 at 11:21pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML
by faily_tales / 07/10/2016 at 8:37pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to my friend's little brother's birthday party. A few of the younger kids were hitting me with a pool noodle, and I didn't really care until a 9-year-old loudly exclaimed, "Hit her in the pussy!" FML
by punmessiah / 07/04/2016 at 2:09am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML
by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML
by Justme / 06/30/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (Montana) / Transportation
Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML
by anonymous / 06/30/2016 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Health
by pissedoff / 06/28/2016 at 7:53am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by no / 06/24/2016 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by pass me the fucking rope / 06/18/2016 at 9:17am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, five minutes into a first date with a woman I really wanted to impress, we got on to a very busy train. I was so concerned with making sure that my backpack didn't get caught in the closing doors that I forgot to worry about my head. FML
by dannidoll93 / 06/15/2016 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Transportation
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2016 at 8:37am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous