Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nokkibind

Offline (yesterday at 11:48pm) | Search for a member

nokkibind

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3512
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nokkibind : I love animals.

nokkibind's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:14pm

nokkibind's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of nokkibind's badges

nokkibind's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38188) - you deserved it (5024)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36681) - you deserved it (2503)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39393) - you deserved it (10962)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

#21255023
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (2601)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:53am - health - by nomfuck - United States (Ohio)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46367) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, it was my great aunt's funeral. We all had to wait two hours for the service to begin, because they forgot to dig the grave. FML

#21247920
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37457) - you deserved it (2232)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:54pm - misc - by abbshows (man) - United States

Today, at my father's funeral, they were playing the song from Phantom of the Opera where she sings about her lost father. Apparently the song organizer forgot to edit out the part where her romantic interest runs toward her and yells, "That... That THING is not your father!" FML

#21245330
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35490) - you deserved it (2599)

On 08/25/2014 at 7:55pm - misc - by NotThePhantom - United States (California)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (12390)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37477) - you deserved it (6736)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

#21241016
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43337) - you deserved it (16456)

On 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31149) - you deserved it (13703)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (5660)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (2562)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, a potential customer was looking at a treadmill at the fitness warehouse I work at. Once he was done testing it out, I asked him if he'd like me to order it for him. His reply? "Nah. I only had a go on it 'cause it looked like fun. Hey, but you could order one for yourself, huh, chubs?" FML

#21236566
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39976) - you deserved it (4531)

On 08/13/2014 at 10:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49044) - you deserved it (19370)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: