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nokkibind

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 12:05am) | Search for a member

nokkibind

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 October 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3430
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About nokkibind : I love animals.

nokkibind's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 12:14pm

nokkibind's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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nokkibind's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (11978)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (5150)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36487) - you deserved it (2544)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46423) - you deserved it (18266)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39295) - you deserved it (3823)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (4259)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38476) - you deserved it (6686)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39514) - you deserved it (13831)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (6594)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

#21217892
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (3836)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:04am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35326) - you deserved it (23534)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39928) - you deserved it (4859)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46168) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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