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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nokka

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nokka
  • Town/Country : Bonn, Germany
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 25 August 1986 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 595
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nokka : Not much to say here..
I'm an American who avoids the letter 'z' whenever possible.
Up to you to decide if that birthday is real.

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nokka's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177 (291)

I agree, your life sucks (21167) - you deserved it (4687)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my girlfriend broke up me with for being the "perfect boyfriend". Apparently I'm the best boyfriend she's ever had, and she didn't know how to take it. So she dumped me. FML

#6414657 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (2296)

On 11/22/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by Micheal (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML

#6326207 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (28872) - you deserved it (3770)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:12pm - love - by TLT (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as a customer was trying on some outfits, I randomly gazed over at her husband for his opinion. The response I got? Him licking his lips. Just then his wife looked up to see me gawking at him in shock. She yelled at me to "close my legs and stop checking out her man". FML

#6322485 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (2214)

On 11/16/2009 at 2:00am - work - by Yapanesedidwhat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (46762) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

#6283772 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (22863) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

#6281731 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (6222)

On 11/12/2009 at 11:19pm - kids - by snapped (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was informed by my boss that he has been stealing quarters out of my change bowl to pay for his bus rides. He makes six times the amount I make. FML

#6274623 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (1285)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:40pm - work - by JBK06262009 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML

#6274583 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (2627)

On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (30112) - you deserved it (2849)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. Her response? First, she threw up all over me and then she started crying hysterically. I'll take that as a no. FML

#6267863 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (1534)

On 11/12/2009 at 12:36am - love - by youmakemesick - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (26309) - you deserved it (1976)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (2187)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (1925)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)