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ninja_dino

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ninja_dino

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1233
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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ninja_dino's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

#15399949
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46131) - you deserved it (3855)

On 03/20/2011 at 1:42pm - misc - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

#15356314
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18224) - you deserved it (82869)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

#15339337
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (11213)

On 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm - kids - by WTF -

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (41667)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16310) - you deserved it (46350)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

#15091616
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26977) - you deserved it (19773)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm - misc - by Elle (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26684) - you deserved it (4355)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

#14723945
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27387) - you deserved it (5164)

On 01/26/2011 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by PLU (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realised that my husband's vows were actually the love speech from 'When Harry Met Sally'. This was made even more humiliating when I discovered that he hadn't even come up with the idea himself, he had seen it in an episode of Scrubs. FML

#14696997
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32783) - you deserved it (4612)

On 01/24/2011 at 10:50am - love - by tina247 -

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

#14498607
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (3540)

On 01/07/2011 at 4:46pm - health - by walnutbladder (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49733) - you deserved it (8515)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML

#14409585
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (4006)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7458) - you deserved it (86938)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35211) - you deserved it (8718)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -



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