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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2947
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nightfire2258 : I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I hope to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. His name will be Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent of scaring the crap out of people. Plus it will be awesome playing fetch! (For future reference: No I have not seen your beloved pet and/or loved one!) On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading, watching a good movie/show, or hanging out with friends. Yes my picture is intentionally blurry. It adds mystery and keeps the stalkers at bay. If I said something to offend and/or agitate you, please fill out the usual paperwork and submit your grievance to receive a complimentary box of imaginary tissues! If the information that I have provided is insufficient and you are not a psychopathic serial killing stalker, please feel free to message me.

nightfire2258's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:20pm<b>zskninoh</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:06pm<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 11:09pm<b>Melanie77176</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 11:18pm<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 9:32pm<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 09/16/2016 at 2:59pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 12:32am<b>FML_HelloItsMe</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:01pm<b>kimberly_cox</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 10:12pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 3:11pm<b>2simz</b> - the 07/26/2016 at 4:57am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:33pm<b>simplyyalleyy</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 9:54pm<b>FuckThisLogin</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 7:30am<b>juliaafaulkner</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 4:42pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:45am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:02am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:12am

Fucked!<b>TheAspieDork</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 5:09am<b>ItnHmn</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 8:27am<b>imarlee98</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:01pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:07am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:26am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:49pm<b>MDoremis</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:46am<b>clrichmond2009</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 3:34am<b>ashleyyeah</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 4:53am<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 6:51am<b>hrebnym</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:14am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:18am<b>annequenneville</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:30am<b>annapanda143</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:52am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:37am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:10am<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 5:47am

nightfire2258's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of nightfire2258's badges

nightfire2258's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

by foreveralone / 06/23/2013 at 10:42am / United States / Love

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

by Selina / 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

by hopeyoushityourintestinesout / 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

by WOWBear / 06/05/2013 at 5:46am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

by Samprib / 06/01/2013 at 1:09am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

by sdeeter / 04/29/2013 at 9:39am / United States / Work

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

by gamerguru13 / 04/21/2013 at 8:26am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

by wow / 03/14/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

by sucks at sucking / 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Intimacy

Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm / United States / Miscellaneous