About nightfire2258 : I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I guess I describe myself as an adrenaline junkie of sorts. Some of the things I enjoy are sports, drag racing, sky diving, and animals. It is my goal to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. I shall name him Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent to scare the shit out of people. Plus it will be bad ass teaching him to fetch! On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading or pwning some noobs on XBL (GT: Firenighthawk). If the information that I have provided proves to be insufficient, please feel free to message me. Have a wonderful day!
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Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16005) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/17/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by TimeForACareerChange (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (45369)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
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On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML
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On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my husband and I went to our first counseling sessions, where the main focus was communication. When the therapist called us in together to discuss techniques we could use at home, my husband looked around, rolled his eyes, and responded with, "Uh huh" to every question. FML
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On 02/23/2012 at 2:59am - love - by atsukobo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26498) - you deserved it (1601)
On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -
Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28438) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21043)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (4063)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States
Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29889) - you deserved it (7768)
On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25693) - you deserved it (3780)
On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13162) - you deserved it (30776)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11710) - you deserved it (16597)
On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39001) - you deserved it (5120)
Monday 20 May 2013
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