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nightfire2258

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nightfire2258

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1142
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nightfire2258 : I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I guess I describe myself as a kind, adventurous, old fashion kind of guy. I hope to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. His name will be Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent of scaring the crap out of people. Plus it will be awesome playing fetch! (For future reference: No I have not seen your beloved pet and/or loved one!) On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading, watching a good movie/show, or hanging out with friends. Yes my picture is intentionally blurry. It adds mystery and keeps the stalkers at bay. If I said something to offend and/or agitate you, please fill out the usual paperwork and submit your grievance to receive a complimentary box of imaginary tissues! If the information that I have provided is insufficient and you are not a psychopathic serial killing stalker, please feel free to message me.

nightfire2258's page activity

Visits<b>MattBenid</b> - 20 hours ago<b>mimibear10</b> - yesterday at 2:24pm<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 2:03am<b>dpook</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:57am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:31am<b>kellyb1094</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:21am<b>chevycop</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 11:16am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:48pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:40pm<b>kandee_bc</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:34am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:44pm<b>RusticChick</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 7:34pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:49am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:25pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 4:55am<b>LittleBells</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:50am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:48am<b>ImRJ</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:46am

nightfire2258's FML badges

50 favourites

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nightfire2258's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41407) - you deserved it (4587)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

#20825918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45415) - you deserved it (3620)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by hardee fucking har yourself, sir (man) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53248) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML

#20792517
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55078) - you deserved it (3658)

On 07/19/2013 at 3:06pm - kids - by getmeoutofthiscountry (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

#20785133
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59389) - you deserved it (20951)

On 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm - intimacy - by needsnewshorts (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57836) - you deserved it (8572)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, my dad invited our very cute neighbor inside to introduce him to me. I was wearing pajamas and hadn't showered in two days due to being extremely sick. FML

#20741405
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (4739)

On 06/22/2013 at 6:59pm - misc - by Selina - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68327) - you deserved it (12871)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML

#20712353
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56284) - you deserved it (4409)

On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45034) - you deserved it (12077)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65536) - you deserved it (18692)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39711) - you deserved it (8455)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52883) - you deserved it (3866)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50797) - you deserved it (6556)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML

#20542468
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38683) - you deserved it (3775)

On 03/13/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by Anonymous - United States



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