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nightfire2258

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nightfire2258

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1071
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nightfire2258 : I'm just another college student getting by on caffeine infusions and ramen noodles. I guess I describe myself as a kind, adventurous, old fashion kind of guy. I enjoy flying, sports, sky diving, animals ect... It's my goal to one day clone and domesticate a Velociraptor. His name will be Jimmy and we will go on daily walks with the sole intent of scaring the crap out of people. Plus it will be awesome playing fetch! (For future reference: No I have not seen your beloved pet and/or loved one!) On the rare occasions I have down time, I enjoy reading, watching a good movie/show or pwning some noobs on XBL (GT: Firenighthawk). If I said something to offend and/or agitate you, please fill out the usual paperwork and submit your grievance to receive a complimentary box of imaginary tissues! If the information that I have provided is insufficient and you are not a psychopathic serial killing stalker, please feel free to message me. Have a wonderful day!

nightfire2258's page activity

Visits<b>depressed_child</b> - 16 hours ago<b>VMG</b> - yesterday at 12:18am<b>Vanshikap</b> - yesterday at 9:27pm<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:04pm<b>bad_luck3</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 2:54am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:41am<b>emilyporter_14</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 2:04pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 8:36am<b>heroforhirex95</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:25am<b>ally_sanderson</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Ley135</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:48pm<b>Ari3l</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:33pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 5:01pm<b>natalea_rae</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 3:56pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:33pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 10:21am<b>Le_Rabbid</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 1:26am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 1:43pm

nightfire2258's FML badges

50 favourites

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nightfire2258's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53643) - you deserved it (3822)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my soon to be mother-in-law sent out the invitations she made for my wedding. On them, it says "You are invited to this 'special' event". In the same way, I'm referred to as "special", and my name is misspelled. Hint taken, you bitch. FML

#21191661
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45548) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/28/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (7443)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my long distance boyfriend told me no more nude pictures or sexting, as he's afraid the government will steal it all. FML

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

#21152462
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47406) - you deserved it (4547)

On 05/26/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by Birthday Surprise - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (8141)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41922) - you deserved it (4088)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45176) - you deserved it (6458)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

#20906275
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33813) - you deserved it (28873)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46931) - you deserved it (4221)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

#20867818
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (2979)

On 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm - work - by dear god help me. - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41366) - you deserved it (4581)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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