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Offline (the 11/30/2016 at 8:26am)

newzealand

112Fucked!

newzealandnewzealand
  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4594
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About newzealand : I'm Mike, I'm an apprentice electrician and motor winder :D

I am really into woodwork and metalwork, my dream would be to become a crazy inventer like the dad off chitty chitty bang bang haha.

Like a bit of travel when I can afford it, I've been to Austrailia, Canada and America so far :)

I love meeting people from around the world, so dont be shy

newzealand's page activity

Visits<b>mikethekid07</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 3:11am<b>rustybucket</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 2:42am<b>oreo00</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 2:15am<b>Ayasaurus</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 3:27pm<b>danm19</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 7:43pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 8:46am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 8:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 6:40am<b>jeff_zz</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 8:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 4:11am<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 6:04pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 7:40am<b>tomatera101</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 12:20am<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:40pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 1:29pm<b>raven83</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:21am<b>wulff115</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:35am

Fucked!<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 3:52am<b>asterismoos</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 2:08pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:14am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 4:52am<b>delichick</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 4:38am<b>fishinpink</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:15am<b>orios105</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:59pm<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:42pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:33pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:45am<b>NisaSayshi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:41pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 10:54pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 11:15am<b>yaaaymomstatus88</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:13am<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:42pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:17am<b>foxesntea</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:30pm

newzealand's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of newzealand's badges

newzealand's favorite FMLs

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

by Grossed Out / 03/13/2010 at 5:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

by holycrap / 03/03/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

by becca1417 / 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 4:34am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy