About Newzealand
I'm Mike, I'm an apprentice electrician and motor winder :D I am really into woodwork and metalwork, my dream would be to become a crazy inventer like the dad off chitty chitty bang bang haha. Like a bit of travel when I can afford it, I've been to Austrailia, Canada, America and Vietnam so far :) I love meeting people from around the world, so dont be shy
Newzealand - Followers
Newzealand - Followed
Newzealand's FML badges
  • What'ch'all looking at?

    You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
  • Mobility

    You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
  • Work is a 4-letter word

    Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
  • Checking you out

    You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
  • Inception

    You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return, you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
  • Keen reader – Level: student ninja

    You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Keen reader – Level: master ninja

    You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
  • Supersize Menu

    You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
  • I'm an early bird, but no worm yet

    You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
  • Night owl

    You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
  • This isn't what should be happening

    You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done, wrong turn. Go back.
  • Santa Claus

    You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
  • One more and it's business time

    You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
  • I like your style

    You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
  • The Mixer

    You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
  • Socialite

    You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
  • I moderated this!

    In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
  • Up and coming moderator

    It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
  • Consolation prize

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  • 50 quality comments

    Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
  • Judgmental

    You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
  • It's in the can!

    Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
  • Profile completed

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  • I agree, my mouse works.

    200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
  • Who’s the fairest of them all?

    This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
  • Beginner

    You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
  • Perfectionist

    Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
  • Tell us what happened next

    You've commented on an FML that you sent in
    0%
  • A new thumb

    You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
    50%
  • Censored

    Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
    4%
  • 50 favorites

    Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
    16%
  • 100 kick-ass comments

    100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
    96%
  • Tweet, tweet

    You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we understand why.
    5%
  • Happy ending

    Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
    0%
  • The rules are the rules

    Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by Alan, our moderator.
    0%
  • YDI Master

    You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
    49%
  • My diary is a collector's item

    There were only 100 numbered VDM diaries for 2011/2012. I've got one.
    0%
  • Happy month-versary

    You seem to be glued to FML. Shall we set a tent up for you to sleep in?
    13%
  • I liked to the power of 20

    You've liked 20 FMLs, and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs you liked.
    0%
  • Picture this FML

    You left your mark on an illustrated FML’s presentation blog article.
    0%
  • I’m your new creative director

    You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
    0%
  • The thumb strikes back

    You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
    13%
  • The return of the thumb

    You have thumbed 5000 comments.
    6%
  • Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

    You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
    6%
The list of badges to find
Newzealand's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML

By Jesstanothergurl / Monday 18 July 2016 19:35 / Canada - Toronto

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

By faily_tales / Monday 11 July 2016 00:37 / United States

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

By fxck - / Wednesday 4 February 2015 19:28 /

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

By Anonymous - / Friday 18 October 2013 17:30 / United States - San Francisco