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newzealand

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newzealand

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newzealandnewzealand
  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 May 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2733
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About newzealand : I'm Mike, I just got back from two months in North America, mostly the states. Well and truly have the travel bug now! I've got my eye on Europe next, but could happily stay in America forever.
Feel free to send me a message!
Kik : mikesimpson35

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newzealand's favorite FMLs

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37581) - you deserved it (23408)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (4739)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

#14596150
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35129) - you deserved it (7639)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41118) - you deserved it (5422)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

#13874873
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35273) - you deserved it (8904)

On 11/17/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by mydadsawsooomuch (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

#13798665
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58970) - you deserved it (3408) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/11/2010 at 3:40am - love - by Anonymous - France

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

#13718140
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28414) - you deserved it (8628)

On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56079) - you deserved it (12093)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (6995)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

#13675906
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32423) - you deserved it (3135)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41540) - you deserved it (4625)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44369) - you deserved it (9764)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

#9041294
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you deserved it (2362)

On 03/13/2010 at 5:35am - intimacy - by Grossed Out - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

#8790917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (2327)

On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12071) - you deserved it (40568)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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