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Offline (the 12/06/2016 at 5:05am)



  • Town/Country : Christchurch, New Zealand
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 3 May 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4649
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About newzealand : I'm Mike, I'm an apprentice electrician and motor winder :D

I am really into woodwork and metalwork, my dream would be to become a crazy inventer like the dad off chitty chitty bang bang haha.

Like a bit of travel when I can afford it, I've been to Austrailia, Canada and America so far :)

I love meeting people from around the world, so dont be shy

newzealand's page activity

Visits<b>rustybucket</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 12:03am<b>mikethekid07</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 3:11am<b>oreo00</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 2:15am<b>Ayasaurus</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 3:27pm<b>danm19</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 7:43pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 8:46am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 8:05am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:46am<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 6:40am<b>jeff_zz</b> - the 11/08/2016 at 8:29pm<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 4:11am<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 6:04pm<b>rengoonhoo</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 7:40am<b>tomatera101</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 12:20am<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:40pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 1:29pm<b>raven83</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 9:21am<b>wulff115</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:35am

Fucked!<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/14/2016 at 3:52am<b>asterismoos</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 2:08pm<b>TxAsMaD3</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 5:14am<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 4:13pm<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 4:52am<b>delichick</b> - the 08/28/2016 at 4:38am<b>fishinpink</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:15am<b>orios105</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 7:59pm<b>awildwhisper</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:42pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:33pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:45am<b>NisaSayshi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:41pm<b>taterrtots</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 10:54pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 11:15am<b>yaaaymomstatus88</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:13am<b>frecklesrose93</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 1:42pm<b>royr7395</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 12:17am<b>foxesntea</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:30pm

newzealand's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of newzealand's badges

newzealand's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, at 6am I was waiting for the tram to go home from my late night job. A homeless man came up to me and offered to buy me a beer because "guys like us have to stick together." FML

by ihaveahome / 04/12/2011 at 12:02pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

by drunkluv / 04/11/2011 at 10:58pm / Australia / Love

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

by shaunaaa / 02/17/2011 at 5:39am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I found out everyone in my family thought the red toothbrush was theirs, and that all four of us have been using the same toothbrush for months. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:11am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

by mydadsawsooomuch / 11/17/2010 at 8:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML

by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love

Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML

by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML

by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health