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Offline (the 07/10/2014 at 7:05am) | Search for a member
About newzealand : I'm Mike, I generally only comment when I'm drunk.. Which unfortunately means I cringe reading the comments I write sometimes.
I'm heading to Canada and North America in June for two and a half months, so let me know if you've got places to recommend!! :)
Can't wait to party and get ruckus with some crazy Americans!!
Kik : mikesimpson35
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Friday 18 July 2014