newbiehere99

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newbiehere99

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 February 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1530
  • Number of comments : 315
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About newbiehere99 : I don't look to people to give me what I already have. My confidence keeps me alive, my faith keeps me moving.

I'm really spontaneous. I'm only on this app for entertainment. I can be funny most of the time, but I also realize I'm not a comedian.

I actually dislike about me boxes -.-

newbiehere99's page activity

Visits<b>flareman</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 9:15pm<b>Stripez234</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 1:28am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 11:58pm<b>aneban</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:49pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 7:14pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 1:59pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:22pm<b>LordGiblett</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 3:52pm<b>xXD3ath_Ang3lXx</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:26am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:14pm<b>SoundGood</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Alienfran</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:42pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:42pm<b>NthDakotaBeaches</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 1:40pm<b>nfedrichy</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:35pm<b>clumsyninja13</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 1:50pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:59pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 7:42pm<b>clumsyninja13</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 7:50pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:49pm

newbiehere99's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of newbiehere99's badges

newbiehere99's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

by bob / 06/29/2012 at 4:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

by bob / 06/29/2012 at 4:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

by Anonymous / 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, after three months of them dating, I finally met the guy my best friend claims she's in love with. To my horror, she's dating the douchebag that I had a one-night stand with a week ago. FML

by … / 06/28/2012 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

by TheAngryBird / 06/28/2012 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2012 at 10:28pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

by fired / 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, while cashiering at the drug store, I saw my ex-boyfriend, who I'm still completely in love with. Being the only cashier, I had to ring him up. He was buying condoms. FML

by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love